It has been two months since I have posted on this blog and with good reason. At first, it was a happy reason. Then, it wasn’t.
Because I always have some sort of sewing or knitting project going on, it is fitting that this story revolves around a quilt.
This quilt was given to me by my neighbor. Her mother made cross-stitch quilts for every child and grandchild she had. This was her final quilt. She only had time to do the border and the mobile before she was called home. My neighbor, not having a crafty bone in her body but unable to just throw it out, gave it to me with the hopes that I would finish it for my child.
I truly tried to finish it in the way that it was intended by cross stitching the moon, but I gave up quickly. Cross stitching is not for me. I take my hat off to those who follow the tiny diagrams and truly love the process.
After failing to complete it, I stuffed the quilt back in the bag and hid it in my sewing room. Two months ago when I found out I was expecting our 2nd child, I pulled the quilt back out, determined to finish it. Elly owns 3 handmade quilts from me. Surely, my next child was deserving of the same love that I pour into each of the quilts I make.
Halfway through the hand appliqueing process, the dream went away. It started with just some innocent spotting. Then, the pain started. It worked itself into a frenzy until a rush of blood occurred. Finally, the gestational sac was passed and our child was no more. It was all so horribly simple.
Unable to even look at the quilt, I packed it up in the bag that I had carried it around in. The needle is still threaded and slipped in the fabric waiting for a happier day.
To keep my mind and my hands busy, I turned my attention to Christmas. Oh, how I love Christmas. In a few short days, the shopping was almost done. Sewing projects are being worked on. Crafts are being made. Slowly, I am finding peace.
Happiness was never truly lost. It is impossible to be unhappy when you have an Elly.
We were at Target in this picture. It is difficult for Elly to keep her superhero costume wearing to just home or Halloween; it is too stifling.